Why God?! I Can't Understand!

So many thoughts in my head lately... thoughts of how blessed I am, thoughts of how small I am in comparison to God, thoughts of bad choices I've made, thoughts of why in spite of myself God still loves me... Random huh? I wonder if anyone else's mind sometimes race with a kaleidoscope of thoughts. It would make me feel better if someone said yes.

The main thing I can't stop thinking about lately though is this... how utterly amazing is God? Check this out... In my mind are shelved all of my bad choices in life. I know what they are... some were just plain stupid and then some I have struggled with for a long time. This morning before leaving the house to head to work it dawned on me that right then I could make a choice to make this a day of being positive, being frugal and smart with money, being productive at work, being a loving husband and dad - basically making good choices throughout the day. Of course while that is a great thought, it is difficult throughout the day to keep that thought on a mental poster board in front of my mind's eyes. Throughout the day, I sometimes get hit with a situation to deal with that is a direct product of a bad choice that was made at some point in time. When that occurs, Satan starts filling my mind with all the other bad choices I have made in life. They play in front of my mind like album artwork being presented as options on my Ipod. It makes me feel stupid, worthless and not worthy of love. Here is the amazing part though...

The amazing part is TRUTH... the truth that comes from what God says in the Bible. When we confess our bad choices (sin) to Him and truly desire to turn from it, He forgives us - PERIOD... end of story. He doesn't shelve it like we tend to do. He removes it from His memory. It doesn't give us a liberty to behave against His Word and it may not remove consequences that the choices may produce - yet the Creator of the world looks at us and says "What sin?" Another thing... it works faster than Tylenol... it is immediate relief. I can't understand this. When someone does me wrong, I want to let others know and I usually wish to confront the person. All the Creator wants is for us to be willing to say - "I was wrong. You are right and You are holy. Please forgive me." This whole concept to me is more foreign than trying to understand or explain the universe.

As these thoughts have been playing in my head, my Ipod has seem to chosen randomly and frequently this week a song by one of my favorite bands, Sanctus Real - Forgiven. Do yourself a favor and click on the link. It is only 3 minutes but will put truth in front of what Satan is trying to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ&ob=av2e

Last Day of Childhood And Excited to Be a Year Older

My middle child, Bryce, turned 13 on Saturday. That is Billy Ocean to the right (Bryce is to the left - :-)). Billy Ocean is 61. So why both pictures?

Friday Bryce informed me that was the last day of his childhood and the next day he would be a full-blown teenager. I remember his age a little bit - even though it has been a few years back. The excitement of a child as they know they are growing older is usually always prevalent. I am not sure the age that most adults decide they have had enough of getting older, but it is usually always prevalent as well.

Friday evening, Trish and I went to a concert to see Billy Ocean. Billy is 61 and I can tell he is having the time of his life. He was full of energy, still singing some great songs and still had his groove on.

This weekend it dawned on me... at some point in adulthood, many adults stop living. We get sucked into a negative world, get lazy and comfortable, and become content in doing less. I hope when I am 61, which is much closer than it has ever been, that I am full of life... laughing and enjoying all that life and God have to offer.

It is somewhat of an oxymoron; yet I think sometimes I need to slow down and see all that is good in life so I can be fully involved in life as it happens. We are a blessed people and our actions should show our gratitude to God.

Happy Birthday Bryce and thank you for the reminder that it is good to keep getting older because life keeps getting better. Bring on 44!